Here we are, already in PART 6 of our course. Here are handy links in case you need to review PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, or PART 5. (And here's a bonus link to my shopping exploits last Thanksgiving Day.) It seems like just a couple of weeks ago, you were wide-eyed freshmen entering the Hungry Preacher's School for Savvy Shopping ("HPSSS" as we're referred to in the BCS standings). Now, you're ready to graduate. But even though you're "earning a degree", remember that life is all about "learning in degrees" (see what I did there?). So take steps to continue your education through your own experience, as well as the mooching off the experience of others.
Believe it or not, many of the lessons I myself have taught you in this course were actually passed on to me from shoppers even savvier than I.
First and foremost, check out iheartwags.com, and the sister blogs iheartcvs.com and iheartriteaid.com. I'm not exactly sure about the direction of influence in shopping and couponing blogs, but I think a lot of them draw from these. They provide good hints for newbies and seasoned vets alike, as well as sneak peeks at upcoming sales, links to coupons and other sites, and even a copy of Walgreen's coupon policy.
Since I mentioned links to coupons, I should point out the obvious gap in information in this series regarding online coupons. If I was doing a "PART 7", "Online Coupons" would be the topic. The biggest reason that I didn't cover that topic is because I'm still sort of figuring it out myself. If anyone knows a comprehensive and consistently updated database of online coupons, I'd be interested to know it. The closest thing I've found is afullcup.com, but I get the feeling they're always about a week behind on updates. Maybe I'm wrong.
Other coupons sites (and there may be some overlap in terms of what is offered) include redplum.com, couponmom.com, coupons.com, and smartsource.com.
Aside from having to jump around to different sites to find coupons, online coupon clipping is also more of a race than something to leisurely do while you're watching TV; there are often a limited number of prints available for a coupon, so it's a "first come" sort of thing. Realize some folks swear by it, and I may be just a couple of tips away from having online couponing click for me. But right now, I'm a dabbler.
If you want more insight into online couponing, or just feel like 6 posts is woefully insufficient to address all you need to know about saving money, check out this 30-post primer on couponing. The series (and the entire site) is pretty bada--, as couponing websites go.
Finally, here is a sampling of Price Ceilings from yours truly, presented here in appendix-like resource form. Many of these could be lowered by 15-20% in a pinch:
$.75:
-pack of gum
-pound of bananas
-single-serve yogurt
-single cartridge for a razor (# per package varies)
$1.00:
-bottle of ketchup
-box of pasta (16 ounce)
-pound of apples
-box of facial tissue
-can of soup
-tube of toothpaste
-energy drink
-can of tuna
-6 pack of boxed raisins
$1.50:
-bag of tortilla chips
-package of hot dogs
$2.00:
-tortillas
-box of 6 granola bars
-box of 10 packets of fruit snacks
-chocolate syrup
-8 ounces bag of shredded cheese
-box of cereal
-household cleaner
-bag of potato chips
-stick of deoderant
-jar of peanuts
-16 ounce flavored coffee creamer
$3.00
-12-pack of name-brand soda
-4 ounces of beef jerky
-12-pack of string cheese
-12 ounces of ground coffee
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Getting Full on Less Dough: the Hungry Preacher's Guide to Savvy Shopping, PART 5
In PART 1 of this series, I provided a non-exhaustive list of 5 foundational rules that can help savvify your shopping. Only one of those rules will get its very own "post of elaboration". That post is today's post, the penultimate of the series. And that rule, copied from PART 1, is as follows:
4. Establish Price Ceilings. A price ceiling is the low but reasonable dollar value you know you can regularly buy something for with sales and/or coupons. For example, my price ceiling on 12-packs of soda is $3. Without too much effort, I know I can usually get a 12-pack for this figure. Know the price ceiling. Commit to the price ceiling. If an item is on sale AND you have a coupon--BUT the final price is STILL above your price ceiling, then run away! Yell, "Go away, you filthy tempters! I am committed to the price ceiling!" Also, remember that the price ceiling is, in fact, a ceiling--if you stock up and practice patience, you can usually pay less than the price ceiling for an item (for example, 12-packs can often be had for $2.50 or even $2.00).
Just in case providing it with its very own post wasn't enough, let me say as clearly as I know how that your price ceiling--and nothing else--should determine whether or not you buy an item. If you spend too much on groceries, it's almost certainly due to not establishing and/or not abiding by price ceilings. Since I'm tired of typing out "price ceiling" and since "PC" is already taken as an abbreviation, henceforth I will regularly use "PrC" as an abbreviation for "price ceiling".
So here are a few additional thoughts and clarifications:
1. Coupons and PrC's. You CAN use a coupon to bring an item under your PrC. But don't fall into the trap of thinking, "Oh, I have a coupon AND this item is on sale--that must count for something." If that sale + coupon doesn't bring the item under your PrC, then they do NOT count for something. I am speaking from experience when I say that it is weird how great the pull of sale + coupon can be, when my brain knows full well that I can STILL get the item for cheaper. Let me use coffee as an example. I realize that coffee brand and quality is something that a lot of people feel very strongly about, and I am not without my own preferences. But in lean times, coffee is coffee, and the cheapest coffee I can find is the 34 ounce bin of either Folgers or Maxwell House. It's not hard to get one of those for $9 or less. However, like anyone drawn to things that sparkle, I am always intrigued by those 12 ounce foil bags of coffee. On average, those run about $8 a bag. Regularly, they go on really good sales, and maybe get as low as $6 a bag. Sometimes I have a really good coupon for one of those bags--maybe even $2 off 1. So if the planets are aligned just right, I can get a 12 ounce bag of coffee for $4. This is very exciting for me (really!) and I think, "Wow, what a deal! Must... buy... 12 ounce bag..." You probably see where this is going. The bag is STILL less of a value than the bin. It is easy to forget or ignore this reality. There's probably something psychological about desiring the sale + coupon foil bag over the old-reliable plastic bin. But even when our irrational and subjective brains are reaching out for the shiny bag of coffee, let your PrC be your objective, unwavering test.
2. Specific Stores and PrC's. Sometimes, you can establish your PrC by knowing what certain items go on sale for. I mentioned 12-packs of Coke getting as low as $2 per. Other times, you can establish your PrC by knowing what certain stores ALWAYS sell the item for. For example, I know that the regular price of a 6-pack of boxed raisins is $1 a Walgreens (it may have just recently jumped a quarter to $1.25). I don't need to wait for a sale or look for a coupon: $1 is my PrC on raisins. Dollar stores are often good places to establish your PrC's on certain items, especially if you can let go of your love for name-brands (and ambiance, though some dollar stores are not as bad as you might think).
3. PrC's Per Ounce. Or pint, or liter, or litre, or whatever. The point is, try to pay some attention to how much of something you are getting. For example, the aforementioned dollar stores sometimes sell jars of peanuts. Seems like a great deal for just a dollar. Except that the jars are about half the size of the jars that you can usually get for about $2 at places like Walgreens. Note the coffee illustration, as well. However, there are some items whose weight I care less about than others. For example, my PrC for breakfast cereal is $2. Some boxes have more cereal weight than others. But I usually eat one or two bowls of cereal for breakfast, regardless of the density of the cereal. If the cereal is more airy, the milk I consume with it cereal still makes me full. Also, I sometimes don't care so much about the weight of individually wrapped items. I know that I'm going to put a pack of fruit snacks in my girls' lunches. Neither I nor they will notice if that pack is .9 ounces or .75 ounces. So don't get duped, but don't spend too much time fretting over an ounce or two here or there.
4. PrC's of $0. I was once at Aldi and saw a large bin of regular-sized Kit Kat bars marked for 5 cents a piece. I knew I was seeing something special. Another customer actually asked an employee if that was the right price. She said it was. I thought about buying every Kit Kat in the bin--there were several hundred--and spending the next several months moonlighting as a "Kit Kat fairy," frolicking around the city, blessing strangers and friend alike with Kit Kats. No doubt, 5 cents for a Kit Kat was a great deal--for anyone in the market for a Kit Kat. I had to remind myself that I was not. I know what me and my family want and need to eat. Those things have PrC's of a positive dollar value. Everything else has a PrC of $0. If I pay more than a PrC for an item, be it a $4 box of cereal or a 5-cent Kit Kat, I am NOT getting a good deal. I am getting scammed. I am spending money that I have no business spending. I have found the "PrC of $0" concept to be a good way of reframing seemingly harmless impulse buys and seeing them for what they are: wasteful expenditures that I have no reason to make.
5. Tiers of PrC's. This may seem to go against everything I've said about the objective yardstick that is a PrC. Maybe this isn't so much a caveat to the objectivity of PrC's as it is an advanced teaching. Anyway, the reality is that for most items, I have both a "high PrC" and a "low PrC". I've alluded to this already, like with 12-packs of Coke. $3 is a high PrC. If I spend more than that on a 12-pack, I have screwed up either in planning or in assessing my need for Coke. But I also know that sometimes, Coke goes on sale for less than that. So if money is especially tight, or my Coke reserves are well stocked, I can impose my low PrC on 12-packs of Coke, which is $2.50 or even $2. Maybe a good tactic for establishing your PrC's is start a little on the high end, and if you regularly see the item for much less than your PrC, then you can adjust it lower. But do this at home, while watching a baseball game, and NOT at the store in the heat of battle.
All right, savvy shoppers. One more post, in which I'll offer something of an appendix of resources and a final send off. Until then...
-THP
4. Establish Price Ceilings. A price ceiling is the low but reasonable dollar value you know you can regularly buy something for with sales and/or coupons. For example, my price ceiling on 12-packs of soda is $3. Without too much effort, I know I can usually get a 12-pack for this figure. Know the price ceiling. Commit to the price ceiling. If an item is on sale AND you have a coupon--BUT the final price is STILL above your price ceiling, then run away! Yell, "Go away, you filthy tempters! I am committed to the price ceiling!" Also, remember that the price ceiling is, in fact, a ceiling--if you stock up and practice patience, you can usually pay less than the price ceiling for an item (for example, 12-packs can often be had for $2.50 or even $2.00).
Just in case providing it with its very own post wasn't enough, let me say as clearly as I know how that your price ceiling--and nothing else--should determine whether or not you buy an item. If you spend too much on groceries, it's almost certainly due to not establishing and/or not abiding by price ceilings. Since I'm tired of typing out "price ceiling" and since "PC" is already taken as an abbreviation, henceforth I will regularly use "PrC" as an abbreviation for "price ceiling".
So here are a few additional thoughts and clarifications:
1. Coupons and PrC's. You CAN use a coupon to bring an item under your PrC. But don't fall into the trap of thinking, "Oh, I have a coupon AND this item is on sale--that must count for something." If that sale + coupon doesn't bring the item under your PrC, then they do NOT count for something. I am speaking from experience when I say that it is weird how great the pull of sale + coupon can be, when my brain knows full well that I can STILL get the item for cheaper. Let me use coffee as an example. I realize that coffee brand and quality is something that a lot of people feel very strongly about, and I am not without my own preferences. But in lean times, coffee is coffee, and the cheapest coffee I can find is the 34 ounce bin of either Folgers or Maxwell House. It's not hard to get one of those for $9 or less. However, like anyone drawn to things that sparkle, I am always intrigued by those 12 ounce foil bags of coffee. On average, those run about $8 a bag. Regularly, they go on really good sales, and maybe get as low as $6 a bag. Sometimes I have a really good coupon for one of those bags--maybe even $2 off 1. So if the planets are aligned just right, I can get a 12 ounce bag of coffee for $4. This is very exciting for me (really!) and I think, "Wow, what a deal! Must... buy... 12 ounce bag..." You probably see where this is going. The bag is STILL less of a value than the bin. It is easy to forget or ignore this reality. There's probably something psychological about desiring the sale + coupon foil bag over the old-reliable plastic bin. But even when our irrational and subjective brains are reaching out for the shiny bag of coffee, let your PrC be your objective, unwavering test.
2. Specific Stores and PrC's. Sometimes, you can establish your PrC by knowing what certain items go on sale for. I mentioned 12-packs of Coke getting as low as $2 per. Other times, you can establish your PrC by knowing what certain stores ALWAYS sell the item for. For example, I know that the regular price of a 6-pack of boxed raisins is $1 a Walgreens (it may have just recently jumped a quarter to $1.25). I don't need to wait for a sale or look for a coupon: $1 is my PrC on raisins. Dollar stores are often good places to establish your PrC's on certain items, especially if you can let go of your love for name-brands (and ambiance, though some dollar stores are not as bad as you might think).
3. PrC's Per Ounce. Or pint, or liter, or litre, or whatever. The point is, try to pay some attention to how much of something you are getting. For example, the aforementioned dollar stores sometimes sell jars of peanuts. Seems like a great deal for just a dollar. Except that the jars are about half the size of the jars that you can usually get for about $2 at places like Walgreens. Note the coffee illustration, as well. However, there are some items whose weight I care less about than others. For example, my PrC for breakfast cereal is $2. Some boxes have more cereal weight than others. But I usually eat one or two bowls of cereal for breakfast, regardless of the density of the cereal. If the cereal is more airy, the milk I consume with it cereal still makes me full. Also, I sometimes don't care so much about the weight of individually wrapped items. I know that I'm going to put a pack of fruit snacks in my girls' lunches. Neither I nor they will notice if that pack is .9 ounces or .75 ounces. So don't get duped, but don't spend too much time fretting over an ounce or two here or there.
4. PrC's of $0. I was once at Aldi and saw a large bin of regular-sized Kit Kat bars marked for 5 cents a piece. I knew I was seeing something special. Another customer actually asked an employee if that was the right price. She said it was. I thought about buying every Kit Kat in the bin--there were several hundred--and spending the next several months moonlighting as a "Kit Kat fairy," frolicking around the city, blessing strangers and friend alike with Kit Kats. No doubt, 5 cents for a Kit Kat was a great deal--for anyone in the market for a Kit Kat. I had to remind myself that I was not. I know what me and my family want and need to eat. Those things have PrC's of a positive dollar value. Everything else has a PrC of $0. If I pay more than a PrC for an item, be it a $4 box of cereal or a 5-cent Kit Kat, I am NOT getting a good deal. I am getting scammed. I am spending money that I have no business spending. I have found the "PrC of $0" concept to be a good way of reframing seemingly harmless impulse buys and seeing them for what they are: wasteful expenditures that I have no reason to make.
5. Tiers of PrC's. This may seem to go against everything I've said about the objective yardstick that is a PrC. Maybe this isn't so much a caveat to the objectivity of PrC's as it is an advanced teaching. Anyway, the reality is that for most items, I have both a "high PrC" and a "low PrC". I've alluded to this already, like with 12-packs of Coke. $3 is a high PrC. If I spend more than that on a 12-pack, I have screwed up either in planning or in assessing my need for Coke. But I also know that sometimes, Coke goes on sale for less than that. So if money is especially tight, or my Coke reserves are well stocked, I can impose my low PrC on 12-packs of Coke, which is $2.50 or even $2. Maybe a good tactic for establishing your PrC's is start a little on the high end, and if you regularly see the item for much less than your PrC, then you can adjust it lower. But do this at home, while watching a baseball game, and NOT at the store in the heat of battle.
All right, savvy shoppers. One more post, in which I'll offer something of an appendix of resources and a final send off. Until then...
-THP
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Getting Full on Less Dough: the Hungry Preacher's Guide to Savvy Shopping, PART 4
I know that my last post on retail kickbacks was a lot of fun, and insight into their use should give you much confidence as you head into the battle that is saving money on groceries. Like the crane kick in "The Karate Kid," of retail kickbacks it can be said, "If do right no can defense." Once you factor in the training you received in PART 1 and PART 2, you are ready to sign up for--and win--the All Valley Karate Tournament.
Of course, YOU are too ambitious to settle for merely winning the tournament, getting the girl, and driving off in your shiny yellow car. You're thinking ahead, and crying out, "Wait! Wasn't the crane kick blocked in 'The Karate Kid Part II'? Wasn't it the drum technique that ended the fight in THAT movie? And what about the kata technique in 'Part III'? I still have so much to learn! Please teach me, Mr. Miyagi!"
To you, prized pupil, I respond twofold. First, you probably want to dial back on the Karate Kid references--they're kind of weirding me out a little bit. Besides, the Hungry Preacher already has an alter-ego. He doesn't need another one. Second, if you really want to defeat the Cobra Kai once and for all, today is your lucky day. I'm going to give you a crash course in several different "specialty" deals and tactics that will save you money from Pomona to Okinawa and back again.
BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE:
Also known as "BOGO." This is one of the most appealing SOUNDING deals, but remember: Don't fall for it unless the average price for the 2 items falls at or below your price ceiling for that item. For example, my price ceiling for a box of cereal is $2 (maybe $2.50 if you get a few beers in me). So if a box of cereal that is priced $4.39 goes on BOGO, it's still only borderline worth it for me to pull the trigger. Always do the math.
Now here's the fun stuff with BOGO sales. First, most stores let you use 2 coupons on a BOGO: one for each item. It may seem counterintuitive that you can use a coupon on an item you are getting for free, but this is how it works. Similarly, you can use a $-off-2 coupon on a BOGO deal; BOGO "counts" as buying 2 items.
What is even wackier is that every now and then, there is a coupon that you can cut out of the paper that says BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE for a product. Sometimes, before that coupon expires, a retailer will put that same item on a BOGO sale. Walgreens and CVS (at least) allow you to use the BOGO coupon in conjunction with their BOGO sale, and you end up getting both items for free. It sounds crazy, but I've done it. Furthermore, CVS actually issued a statement confirming that combining BOGO coupons with BOGO sales is valid and not shady (my paraphrase). I have experienced some inconsistency among Walgreens stores on how they deal with the BOGO(squared) paradox, so don't be shocked if your advances are rejected by the local Walgreens manager.
X-DOLLARS OFF A PURCHASE OF Y-DOLLARS OR MORE:
For example, Shop and Save, a St. Louis grocery store, regularly offers $10 off a purchase of $50 or more. These sales can be tricky, because there are a lot of traps you can fall into.
First, usually the excluded items are, in fact, excluded. So make sure you're not including those items in your efforts to reach your targeted purchase amount.
Second, you still need to remember your price ceilings. For this specific deal, you take 20% off every item you put in your cart. If that reduced figure falls below your price ceiling, great. On the other hand, if you've been doing the math, and have a bunch of items that still only total around $40 or so, you CAN break through the price ceiling on a few items in order to get the total up over $50. That can be a slippery slope, though.
Third, when you're keeping the running total of the items in your basket, it's easy (and usually wise) to add a couple of extra items to make sure that you don't come up JUST SHORT of the target amount. The problem is that every dollar you go over the target amount reduced the percentage that you save on your entire purchase.
Beyond those pitfalls, here are some other tips to remember on X-OFF-Y DEALS:
First, the target amount is usually triggered BEFORE coupons. So, simplistically, if I'm buying one $50 item at Shop and Save, and have a coupon for $1 off that item, the discount will trigger, and then I can still use my coupon, essentially giving me $10 off my $49 purchase. This is important to remember at Walgreens and CVS, where they regularly offer X-OFF-Y DEALS (often in the form of Retail Kickbacks) on products that regularly have coupons floating around, like cleaning supplies and Band-Aids.
Second, occasionally companies put out coupons that allow you get to an item entirely free. This is most common with new products. X-OFF-Y DEALS are good times to use those coupons, since you're effectively lowering the "Y" amount you need to hit to get your "X" discount.
Third, for the same reason as above, X-OFF-Y DEALS are a good time to make use of mail-in-rebates. Which brings us to...
MAIL IN REBATES:
There is one rule regarding mail-in-rebates that transcends every other: MAIL THEM IN! Personally, I find them to be a pain in the butt. What helps motivate me is knowing that the companies do not want me to get around to mailing them in. I see it as, "If I don't do this, I have become just another pawn in their profit-making game." That's usually enough to make it happen on my end.
Logistically, make sure you receive and keep your receipt. And check the expiration dates on the rebate offers. Sometimes, a tag attached to the product advertises the rebate, but the valid purchase period has already lapsed.
DOUBLE COUPONS:
Are something of a misnomer, annoyingly so. In St. Louis, the 2 grocery chains that advertise that they double coupons only double coupons that are up to forty cents. That was all well and good in the seventies, but coupons and inflation have trended such that the majority of them are for more than forty cents. In other words, stores that SAY that they double coupons, in actuality, do NOT double the majority of coupons in print.
Worse yet is that no allowance is made for applying some sort of "double-esque" principle to coupons that offer, say, fifty cents off an item. Contrast this with the Southern California (where I used to live). There, the maximum value of a coupon that can be doubled is fifty cents. BUT, if you have a coupon for more than that, the retailer will--though not double it--ADD fifty cents to its total. So in California, a forty-cent coupon is worth eighty cents, but a sixty-cent coupon is worth $1.10.
Now you have an answer to the riddle, "When is forty higher than fifty?" Why, when you're using coupons in St. Louis, of course!
All of that said, when browsing ads and sorting coupons, it's worth keeping the doubling principle in mind--at least in the back of your mind.
STACKING COUPONS:
There are 2 kinds of coupons: Manufacturers Coupons (MC) and Store-Issued Coupons (S-IC). You can almost never use more than 1 MC on an item that you purchase. BUT, you can usually use 1 MC AND 1 S-IC on the same item. This is easiest for me to do at Walgreens, because they usually print all the S-IC's for any given week within the ad for that week. So while I'm looking through the ad, I can just cut out any relevant S-IC's as I go.
It is usually clear on the coupon if it is a MC or S-IC. Most coupons you'll find in the paper or on the internet are MC's, while most S-IC are specifically within a publication from that retailer.
CLEARANCE ITEMS:
Grocery stores usually have a rack of damaged or discontinued items, weirdly tucked away in a corner of the store behind a freezer. Walgreens and CVS typically have an end cap or two in the back of the store where they have these kinds of items. I usually have a quick gander, and can usually tell if there's anything worth grabbing. Usually there isn't, but sometimes there are some pretty sweet finds.
For example, CVS recently had a box of protein bars marked at 90% off. That made them twenty cents a piece. I bought about 15. They also had some All, Gain, and Arm & Hammer laundry detergents at 75% off. I had some coupons, and ended up getting about 7 of them for about $1.50 each.
About the coupons: Sometimes, a coupon will not "attach" to a clearance item when it is scanned, because the clearance item has been reprogrammed to scan as something like, "CLEARANCE MERCHANDISE." Unless a manager tells you otherwise, don't take no for an answer if your coupon matches the item.
Also, every now and then, a clearance item will still trigger a Retail Kickback that is advertised for a similar, non-clearance item. For example, Walgreens was once offering a $3 Register Reward on Ban roll-on deodorant. On an end cap, I found a Ban, clinical-strength deodorant marked at around $2.25. I bought it and, sure enough, the $3 Register Reward kicked back, netting me seventy-five cents AND some deodorant.
One more thing: Target clearance prices usually suck. A lot of times, they're only like 15% off. I've seen clearance items at Target actually priced HIGHER than the items by which they are being replaced, because the new items are on sale for 20-25% off.
COUPONS FOR SIMILAR ITEMS:
Most coupons specify the brand, type of product, size of product, how many of the product you need to get, and when the coupon expires. The only factor of those that is set in stone is "brand." For everything else, I trust the scanner. If it scans, I'm cool with that. If not, I don't make a stink.
That said, it is very rare that an expired coupon will scan; usually, the only time I'll hand an expired coupon to the cashier is by mistake, since it's pretty much just a waste of time to hope that it scans. It is almost as rare that a coupon will scan if you haven't purchased the amount of items specified on the coupon; it's also not something I bother testing except by accident.
But product type and size are sometimes fluid. For example, a lot of coupons for shampoo will also work if you are buying that brand's conditioner. Or if you have a coupon for peanuts and want to use it on mixed nuts, instead. Or if you have a coupon for the 1-liter size mouthwash, but are buying the .5-liter size.
I have not seen a corporate statement that disparages such coupon usage, and most cashiers and managers seem happy to defer to the computer as all-knowing. I try not to be too screwy with it and, like I said, if it doesn't scan, I cut my losses and move on.
We're in the homestretch here. You've done the heavy lifting. I'm planning to wrap things with an "appendix of resources" on Friday, and maybe one more post squeezed in between now and then.
Until then...
-THP
Beyond those pitfalls, here are some other tips to remember on X-OFF-Y DEALS:
First, the target amount is usually triggered BEFORE coupons. So, simplistically, if I'm buying one $50 item at Shop and Save, and have a coupon for $1 off that item, the discount will trigger, and then I can still use my coupon, essentially giving me $10 off my $49 purchase. This is important to remember at Walgreens and CVS, where they regularly offer X-OFF-Y DEALS (often in the form of Retail Kickbacks) on products that regularly have coupons floating around, like cleaning supplies and Band-Aids.
Second, occasionally companies put out coupons that allow you get to an item entirely free. This is most common with new products. X-OFF-Y DEALS are good times to use those coupons, since you're effectively lowering the "Y" amount you need to hit to get your "X" discount.
Third, for the same reason as above, X-OFF-Y DEALS are a good time to make use of mail-in-rebates. Which brings us to...
MAIL IN REBATES:
There is one rule regarding mail-in-rebates that transcends every other: MAIL THEM IN! Personally, I find them to be a pain in the butt. What helps motivate me is knowing that the companies do not want me to get around to mailing them in. I see it as, "If I don't do this, I have become just another pawn in their profit-making game." That's usually enough to make it happen on my end.
Logistically, make sure you receive and keep your receipt. And check the expiration dates on the rebate offers. Sometimes, a tag attached to the product advertises the rebate, but the valid purchase period has already lapsed.
DOUBLE COUPONS:
Are something of a misnomer, annoyingly so. In St. Louis, the 2 grocery chains that advertise that they double coupons only double coupons that are up to forty cents. That was all well and good in the seventies, but coupons and inflation have trended such that the majority of them are for more than forty cents. In other words, stores that SAY that they double coupons, in actuality, do NOT double the majority of coupons in print.
Worse yet is that no allowance is made for applying some sort of "double-esque" principle to coupons that offer, say, fifty cents off an item. Contrast this with the Southern California (where I used to live). There, the maximum value of a coupon that can be doubled is fifty cents. BUT, if you have a coupon for more than that, the retailer will--though not double it--ADD fifty cents to its total. So in California, a forty-cent coupon is worth eighty cents, but a sixty-cent coupon is worth $1.10.
Now you have an answer to the riddle, "When is forty higher than fifty?" Why, when you're using coupons in St. Louis, of course!
All of that said, when browsing ads and sorting coupons, it's worth keeping the doubling principle in mind--at least in the back of your mind.
STACKING COUPONS:
There are 2 kinds of coupons: Manufacturers Coupons (MC) and Store-Issued Coupons (S-IC). You can almost never use more than 1 MC on an item that you purchase. BUT, you can usually use 1 MC AND 1 S-IC on the same item. This is easiest for me to do at Walgreens, because they usually print all the S-IC's for any given week within the ad for that week. So while I'm looking through the ad, I can just cut out any relevant S-IC's as I go.
It is usually clear on the coupon if it is a MC or S-IC. Most coupons you'll find in the paper or on the internet are MC's, while most S-IC are specifically within a publication from that retailer.
CLEARANCE ITEMS:
Grocery stores usually have a rack of damaged or discontinued items, weirdly tucked away in a corner of the store behind a freezer. Walgreens and CVS typically have an end cap or two in the back of the store where they have these kinds of items. I usually have a quick gander, and can usually tell if there's anything worth grabbing. Usually there isn't, but sometimes there are some pretty sweet finds.
For example, CVS recently had a box of protein bars marked at 90% off. That made them twenty cents a piece. I bought about 15. They also had some All, Gain, and Arm & Hammer laundry detergents at 75% off. I had some coupons, and ended up getting about 7 of them for about $1.50 each.
About the coupons: Sometimes, a coupon will not "attach" to a clearance item when it is scanned, because the clearance item has been reprogrammed to scan as something like, "CLEARANCE MERCHANDISE." Unless a manager tells you otherwise, don't take no for an answer if your coupon matches the item.
Also, every now and then, a clearance item will still trigger a Retail Kickback that is advertised for a similar, non-clearance item. For example, Walgreens was once offering a $3 Register Reward on Ban roll-on deodorant. On an end cap, I found a Ban, clinical-strength deodorant marked at around $2.25. I bought it and, sure enough, the $3 Register Reward kicked back, netting me seventy-five cents AND some deodorant.
One more thing: Target clearance prices usually suck. A lot of times, they're only like 15% off. I've seen clearance items at Target actually priced HIGHER than the items by which they are being replaced, because the new items are on sale for 20-25% off.
COUPONS FOR SIMILAR ITEMS:
Most coupons specify the brand, type of product, size of product, how many of the product you need to get, and when the coupon expires. The only factor of those that is set in stone is "brand." For everything else, I trust the scanner. If it scans, I'm cool with that. If not, I don't make a stink.
That said, it is very rare that an expired coupon will scan; usually, the only time I'll hand an expired coupon to the cashier is by mistake, since it's pretty much just a waste of time to hope that it scans. It is almost as rare that a coupon will scan if you haven't purchased the amount of items specified on the coupon; it's also not something I bother testing except by accident.
But product type and size are sometimes fluid. For example, a lot of coupons for shampoo will also work if you are buying that brand's conditioner. Or if you have a coupon for peanuts and want to use it on mixed nuts, instead. Or if you have a coupon for the 1-liter size mouthwash, but are buying the .5-liter size.
I have not seen a corporate statement that disparages such coupon usage, and most cashiers and managers seem happy to defer to the computer as all-knowing. I try not to be too screwy with it and, like I said, if it doesn't scan, I cut my losses and move on.
We're in the homestretch here. You've done the heavy lifting. I'm planning to wrap things with an "appendix of resources" on Friday, and maybe one more post squeezed in between now and then.
Until then...
-THP
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Getting Full on Less Dough: the Hungry Preacher's Guide to Savvy Shopping, PART 3
Just yesterday, I walked into a Walgreen's store. I bought a package of "Nasal Ease Homeopathic Allergy Reliever Nasal Powder Spray." It was on sale for $9, but I had a coupon for $5 off that I had dug up from a weekend coupon insert a few weeks prior. So I paid $4 out of pocket. After I paid, I was handed my receipt and one of these bad boys:
That's $9 off a future purchase at Walgreens. There are a few exclusions on what you can buy with it, and it expires in 2 weeks. Other than that, it's as good as gold.
In other words, Walgreens paid me $5 to take their nasal spray (which I will probably donate someplace).
This is an example of using coupons in conjunction with what I refer to as "retail kickbacks," or "RK's". Here is a quick rundown of 4 retailers that regularly offer RK's.
RETAILER: CVS
That's $9 off a future purchase at Walgreens. There are a few exclusions on what you can buy with it, and it expires in 2 weeks. Other than that, it's as good as gold.
In other words, Walgreens paid me $5 to take their nasal spray (which I will probably donate someplace).
This is an example of using coupons in conjunction with what I refer to as "retail kickbacks," or "RK's". Here is a quick rundown of 4 retailers that regularly offer RK's.
RETAILER: CVS
SPECIAL NAME OF RK: "Extra Bucks"
METHOD OF RK: Extension of your receipt. They look like gift receipts. Extra Bucks have bar codes and "tear hear" lines before and after each one that prints.
LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE OR BETTER-THAN-FREE ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE USE OF COUPONS TO SUPPLEMENT THE RK DEAL: High.
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: Yes. You've got to show the cashier your card.
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: Yes. You've got to show the cashier your card.
EXPIRATION: Usually 3 weeks after they are printed, but CVS usually accepts expired Extra Bucks at least a month after their expiration date.
PURCHASE LIMITS: Yes. Each Extra Buck deal has a limit, and since you have to show your card to get the Extra Bucks, they keep track of whether you've reached your limit. There are 3 nice things about this, though: 1), there is a "status section" on your receipt that tells you if you've reached your limit for any given Extra Bucks deal; 2), you do not have to buy all of the items that trigger the Extra Bucks deal in one trip. For example, if the deal is "BUY 4 12 PACKS OF PEPSI AND GET 3 EXTRA BUCKS," I can buy one on Monday at a certain CVS and three more later in the week at a different CVS and still get my Extra Bucks. But I do need to buy them all within the time frame of the offer; 3), if there is an offer limit of more than one, I can max out my limit in a single transaction.
PRODUCT AVAILABILITY ISSUES?: Yes. Especially near the end of a week, CVS may sell out of items with sizable Extra Bucks attached to them. But CVS has a simple and customer-friendly rain check policy. Bring the ad to the counter, say, "I need a rain check for this," and the cashier will take care of the rest. Hold on to the rain check. It never expires. You can still use coupons with them. You'll still get the full Extra Bucks amount printed out.
OTHER NOTES: CVS's Extra Bucks program is consistent and customer-friendly. The employees are usually happy to help out with questions and issues. The purchase limits keep you from stocking up on particular products as much as you may like to, but this overall smoothness of the system makes up for that.
RETAILER: Walgreens
SPECIAL NAME OF RK: "Register Rewards"
METHOD OF RK: Printed out on separate machine. Sometimes handed to you in a stack of other coupons that print out at your purchase.
LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE OR BETTER-THAN-FREE ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE USE OF COUPONS TO SUPPLEMENT THE RK DEAL: High.
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: No.
EXPIRATION: 2 weeks from day of printout. There is no grace period! Use them or lose them!
PURCHASE LIMITS: You can only get one Register Reward for the same product, per transaction. For example, if the deal is "BUY 1 COLGATE TOOTHPASTE FOR $3, GET $3 IN REGISTER REWARDS," and you buy two tubes in one transaction, you will get one--and only one--$3 Register Reward printed out after you pay. That said, there is nothing keep you from making multiple trips to Walgreens stores and making as many purchases as you so desire. BUT, you can NOT use your $3 Register Reward to buy another tube of toothpaste and still get another $3 Register Reward printed out afterwards (there are occasional exceptions to this rule of "no rolling Register Rewards" but don't worry about those). You CAN use a Register Reward to pay for a DIFFERENT product that triggers a DIFFERENT Register Reward. Because of this, if one week Walgreens has two products of similar price with the full purchase amount "kicked backed" in the form of a Register Reward, I will sometimes make several Walgreens trips in a single week: I will take my $3 Register Reward for the Colgate, run into another Walgreens and buy (for example) a $3.50 hair brush that has a $3.50 Register Reward kicked backed on it. I'll pay for the brush with my $3 Register Reward and some change, then get a $3.50 Register Reward printed out. At my next Walgreens stop, I'll buy another tube of Colgate and a box of dried fruit (to get the total over $3.50), then pay with my $3.50 Register Reward from the brush. Over the course of a week, if I make 6 quick Walgreens stops, I'll have three tubes of Colgate, three hair brushes (and three boxes of dried fruit) all for just a couple of bucks out of pocket.
RETAILER: Walgreens
SPECIAL NAME OF RK: "Register Rewards"
METHOD OF RK: Printed out on separate machine. Sometimes handed to you in a stack of other coupons that print out at your purchase.
LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE OR BETTER-THAN-FREE ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE USE OF COUPONS TO SUPPLEMENT THE RK DEAL: High.
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: No.
EXPIRATION: 2 weeks from day of printout. There is no grace period! Use them or lose them!
PURCHASE LIMITS: You can only get one Register Reward for the same product, per transaction. For example, if the deal is "BUY 1 COLGATE TOOTHPASTE FOR $3, GET $3 IN REGISTER REWARDS," and you buy two tubes in one transaction, you will get one--and only one--$3 Register Reward printed out after you pay. That said, there is nothing keep you from making multiple trips to Walgreens stores and making as many purchases as you so desire. BUT, you can NOT use your $3 Register Reward to buy another tube of toothpaste and still get another $3 Register Reward printed out afterwards (there are occasional exceptions to this rule of "no rolling Register Rewards" but don't worry about those). You CAN use a Register Reward to pay for a DIFFERENT product that triggers a DIFFERENT Register Reward. Because of this, if one week Walgreens has two products of similar price with the full purchase amount "kicked backed" in the form of a Register Reward, I will sometimes make several Walgreens trips in a single week: I will take my $3 Register Reward for the Colgate, run into another Walgreens and buy (for example) a $3.50 hair brush that has a $3.50 Register Reward kicked backed on it. I'll pay for the brush with my $3 Register Reward and some change, then get a $3.50 Register Reward printed out. At my next Walgreens stop, I'll buy another tube of Colgate and a box of dried fruit (to get the total over $3.50), then pay with my $3.50 Register Reward from the brush. Over the course of a week, if I make 6 quick Walgreens stops, I'll have three tubes of Colgate, three hair brushes (and three boxes of dried fruit) all for just a couple of bucks out of pocket.
PRODUCT AVAILABILITY ISSUES?: Yes. And Walgreens does NOT offer rain checks on Register Rewards. If there is an especially beneficial Register Rewards deal, I will try to make it to Walgreens on Sunday--the first day of the new deals--or risk getting left out in the cold.
OTHER NOTES: Walgreen's RK system is glitchy and inconsistent compared to CVS's. Sometimes Register Rewards don't print out when they're supposed to. Sometimes the bar codes on Register Rewards won't scan when you're trying to use them to make a purchase. Also, compared to CVS employees, Walgreens employees are often grumpier and less knowledgeable about assisting with their RK's (my experiences seem to be mirrored by others on internet message boards). I have been told--even by managers--"rules" for Register Rewards that I know for a fact are not true (like, "If you use a coupon to purchase an item, you can't get a Register Reward.") I have also experienced general grumpiness from cashiers at Walgreens who act like the money I save on using Register Rewards comes straight out of their pocket. It was once so blatant that I was within an eyelash of actually asking, "Do you have a problem with me?" That said, I suspect that corporate Walgreens has tried to instill an attitude adjustment in its store employees, because the problems I experience with them seem to be occurring with less frequency. One trick I have found to be helpful--especially if I have a complicated purchase to make--is to make my transaction at the cosmetics register, even if it means tracking down the cosmetics cashier from somewhere else in the store. There is usually not a line at the cosmetics counter, so there is less pressure and tension all around if something doesn't go smoothly and needs to be corrected. Also, I have been told that cosmetic cashiers actually get a commission on certain items that they ring out. It's amazing what this does for cashiers' cooperativeness!
RETAILER: Target.
RETAILER: Target.
SPECIAL NAME OF RK: "Target Gift Card" (not very special, I know)
METHOD OF RK: A gift card loaded and handed to you by the cashier the moment the triggering items are scanned.
LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE OR BETTER-THAN-FREE ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE USE OF COUPONS TO SUPPLEMENT THE RK DEAL: Low (I've seen it once).
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: No.
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: No.
EXPIRATION: None.
PURCHASE LIMITS: Sometimes. Read the fine print.
PRODUCT AVAILABILITY ISSUES?: Sometimes. The fine print in ads says "No Rain Checks," but I am not sure if individual stores enforce this policy.
OTHER NOTES: It's nice that Target gives actual gift cards that work just like any other gift card regarding restrictions and expirations. But the amount they kick back often just makes the deal "good but not great," and not necessarily worth an extra trip. I have never seen Target offer an RK of the full purchase amount.
RETAILER: Grocery stores.
SPECIAL NAME OF RK: None.
METHOD OF RK: A coupon printed out after you pay (similar to a Register Reward from Walgreens)
LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE OR BETTER-THAN-FREE ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE USE OF COUPONS TO SUPPLEMENT THE RK DEAL: Very low (I've never seen it)
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: No.
EXPIRATION: Varies. Sometimes, it's just a few days. Not likely more than a couple of weeks.
PURCHASE LIMITS: Usually one RK per transaction.
PRODUCT AVAILABILITY ISSUES?: Rarely. Grocery stores have the space to stock up.
OTHER NOTES: These deals are offered relatively infrequently, and often are triggered by overpriced, name-brand products. Occasionally, you'll see something like "CEREAL 4/$10, A COUPON FOR $3 BACK ON YOUR NEXT PURCHASE." That actually makes it worth it, especially if you have some coupons. Also, the purchase requirements at grocery stores are sometimes pretty broad--something like, "BUY ANY 10 OF THESE 97 PRODUCTS FROM GENERAL MILLS AND GET A COUPON BACK." If you're wanting to mix and match, it can take some time figuring out exactly which products will trigger the RK.
Finally, here are a few rules/suggestions that are not store-specific but that will help you maximize your RK experience:
1) Use your RK's! Don't let them expire. I have an extra pocket in the front of my coupon caddie for valuable and time-sensitive coupons. If you do accidentally let one (or a bunch) expire, shake it off. It happens. (I also once washed about $15 worth of Register Rewards--turns out "wash survivability" is another way Register Rewards are different from actual currency.)
2) Make sure you get your RK when you're supposed to.
3) With rare exceptions, how you pay for an item should NOT affect the "triggering" of a RK. For example, using coupons or gift cards should have no affect on getting a RK. This is not my rule, but the rules issued by the various retail corporations. (Yes, they do that.)
4) If you do not get your RK, find out why. If the cashier cannot figure it out, ask to see a manager. If the manager cannot figure it out, politely say that you'd be fine just voiding part or all of your transaction. Don't say it all snooty as though you're trying to pressure them. And don't feel bad about it. I've done it a half a dozen times or so--probably 2 of those were because I misread the fine print (i.e., the fault was with me) and the others were because the computer wouldn't spit out what it was supposed to, and the employees couldn't or wouldn't override it. In that case, I still try to let the employees save face, and say something like, "I'm sorry. I guess I misunderstood how this works. I can just return this item if it's not part of the deal."
5) Do NOT use your RK's to "treat yourself" (or anyone, really) to something that you wouldn't have bought already. This is easier said than done. Something deep within us feels like, "Oh, I just made $1 profit to take these adult undergarments--I'll use my $3 RK for a bag of Hershey's kisses!" Don't. Don't, don't, don't.
6) There are some ethically questionable ways of using coupons. Navigating RK's is not one of them. It FEELS like you're stealing when you "get paid" to take an item. It is not. The retailers know that many customers combine coupons with RK's to make a profit. On one occassion, Walgreens even had a big endcap set up to display a new Bayer aspirin product. "PAY $3, GET $3 IN REGISTER REWARDS," the sign said. Stuck right next to that was a big pad of $1-off-one coupons with the sign, "SAVE EVEN MORE!"
7) RK's are almost always advertisted in the weekly ads for these stores.
That's the scoop on retail kickbacks. It might seem like a lot, but navigating RK's on a weekly basis is probably as lucrative as couponing in general. Toothpaste and shaving products are especially discounted with RK's. I estimate that over the last 3 years, I have spent a net of $0 on toothpaste. That includes the several dozen tubes I have either given away or have in my closet. And I have probably spent about $.25 per razor cartridge--and we're talking lots of name-brands, with 3, 4, and 5 blades per cartridge.
Next up I'll walk you through some other types of specicialized coupons and sales for even more savings off your monthly food budget.
Until then...
-THP
RETAILER: Grocery stores.
SPECIAL NAME OF RK: None.
METHOD OF RK: A coupon printed out after you pay (similar to a Register Reward from Walgreens)
LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING SOMETHING FOR FREE OR BETTER-THAN-FREE ON A WEEK-TO-WEEK BASIS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE USE OF COUPONS TO SUPPLEMENT THE RK DEAL: Very low (I've never seen it)
MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED?: No.
EXPIRATION: Varies. Sometimes, it's just a few days. Not likely more than a couple of weeks.
PURCHASE LIMITS: Usually one RK per transaction.
PRODUCT AVAILABILITY ISSUES?: Rarely. Grocery stores have the space to stock up.
OTHER NOTES: These deals are offered relatively infrequently, and often are triggered by overpriced, name-brand products. Occasionally, you'll see something like "CEREAL 4/$10, A COUPON FOR $3 BACK ON YOUR NEXT PURCHASE." That actually makes it worth it, especially if you have some coupons. Also, the purchase requirements at grocery stores are sometimes pretty broad--something like, "BUY ANY 10 OF THESE 97 PRODUCTS FROM GENERAL MILLS AND GET A COUPON BACK." If you're wanting to mix and match, it can take some time figuring out exactly which products will trigger the RK.
Finally, here are a few rules/suggestions that are not store-specific but that will help you maximize your RK experience:
1) Use your RK's! Don't let them expire. I have an extra pocket in the front of my coupon caddie for valuable and time-sensitive coupons. If you do accidentally let one (or a bunch) expire, shake it off. It happens. (I also once washed about $15 worth of Register Rewards--turns out "wash survivability" is another way Register Rewards are different from actual currency.)
2) Make sure you get your RK when you're supposed to.
3) With rare exceptions, how you pay for an item should NOT affect the "triggering" of a RK. For example, using coupons or gift cards should have no affect on getting a RK. This is not my rule, but the rules issued by the various retail corporations. (Yes, they do that.)
4) If you do not get your RK, find out why. If the cashier cannot figure it out, ask to see a manager. If the manager cannot figure it out, politely say that you'd be fine just voiding part or all of your transaction. Don't say it all snooty as though you're trying to pressure them. And don't feel bad about it. I've done it a half a dozen times or so--probably 2 of those were because I misread the fine print (i.e., the fault was with me) and the others were because the computer wouldn't spit out what it was supposed to, and the employees couldn't or wouldn't override it. In that case, I still try to let the employees save face, and say something like, "I'm sorry. I guess I misunderstood how this works. I can just return this item if it's not part of the deal."
5) Do NOT use your RK's to "treat yourself" (or anyone, really) to something that you wouldn't have bought already. This is easier said than done. Something deep within us feels like, "Oh, I just made $1 profit to take these adult undergarments--I'll use my $3 RK for a bag of Hershey's kisses!" Don't. Don't, don't, don't.
6) There are some ethically questionable ways of using coupons. Navigating RK's is not one of them. It FEELS like you're stealing when you "get paid" to take an item. It is not. The retailers know that many customers combine coupons with RK's to make a profit. On one occassion, Walgreens even had a big endcap set up to display a new Bayer aspirin product. "PAY $3, GET $3 IN REGISTER REWARDS," the sign said. Stuck right next to that was a big pad of $1-off-one coupons with the sign, "SAVE EVEN MORE!"
7) RK's are almost always advertisted in the weekly ads for these stores.
That's the scoop on retail kickbacks. It might seem like a lot, but navigating RK's on a weekly basis is probably as lucrative as couponing in general. Toothpaste and shaving products are especially discounted with RK's. I estimate that over the last 3 years, I have spent a net of $0 on toothpaste. That includes the several dozen tubes I have either given away or have in my closet. And I have probably spent about $.25 per razor cartridge--and we're talking lots of name-brands, with 3, 4, and 5 blades per cartridge.
Next up I'll walk you through some other types of specicialized coupons and sales for even more savings off your monthly food budget.
Until then...
-THP
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Getting Full on Less Dough: the Hungry Preacher's Guide to Savvy Shopping, PART 2
"A well-used coupon is as good as cash. Treat it as such."
-The Hungry Preacher, 2012
By the way, quoting yourself is a great way to broach a topic on a blog AND at a party (more on that in my series on social savviness).
So, coupons. I'll try to remember that figuring out coupons for some people is like figuring out computers for people like me: very intimidating, and you'll always feel like what you DON'T know is more important than what you DO know.
A couple of differences, though:
-The "rules" of coupons are fairly stagnant. It's not like new technology is always coming out, rendering your knowledge obsolete
-A little bit of knowledge of couponing can, in fact, provide you with a little bit of help. In contrast, I have found that a little bit of knowledge with computers usually just means that I will spend an extra 10 minutes poking around before I end up calling an expert.
It also might help to attack head-on the scariest thing about coupons: Being "that guy" (or girl). "That guy" is the one who is at the front of a long line to check out, holding a stack of coupons, while the cashier is trying to figure out why the machine won't scan one of them. The cashier is squinting at the fine print, then digging through your bags trying to find an item that matches the coupon. Your kids are squirming, the kids of the people behind you are squirming, kids all over the world are squirming, and their parents all know that it's your fault. You just want to empty your wallet on the counter, cry "keep it" and run to your car, leaving behind your purchases or even your kids.
First off, I've been that guy, and you're right: it's no fun.
Second, I survived. So can you. If you do your homework, and something goes wrong at the checkout, that's fine. It happens. You don't need to act entitled, rude, or demanding. But you DO have a right to know why your coupon isn't working. The fault may be with you, but even if it is, you still have the right to have the cashier explain what the problem is. Don't apologize for that, and don't feel bad about it. Your job is to save money for your family. Don't let the stinkeye from strangers or a grumpy cashier keep you from doing that.
Over that hump? Good. On to couponing proper.
Since I don't know exactly what might work for you, I'll tell you what works for me, and let your pick which of these bull's horns you want to take and run with.
We begin bright and early on Saturday morning. I hop out of bed at 6:00, put on my robe, and fetch the morning paper.
A couple of those details are embellished, but the important thing is that I do, in fact, get the paper delivered to my home on weekends. It only takes a couple of bucks worth of coupons for the paper to pay for itself. Then, hey, free paper!
Each weekend, there are anywhere from zero (usually on holiday weekends) to three booklets of coupons. I pull out the booklets and set them aside. Then I wait for either a baseball game or a football game to be on television. That is prime clipping time, since clipping is a pretty mindless task and I would be watching the games anyway.
Once a game is on, I flip through the pages and mentally categorize each coupon into one of three categories:
1. I have a high chance of using this before it expires.
2. I have a low chance of using this before it expires, but I might use it if this item goes on some ridiculous sale.
3. I have virtually no chance of using this coupon.
If a coupon is in the first category, I cut it out--right along the dotted line--and put it in a pile. This pile will get sorted into my coupon caddie that I carry with me when I shop.
If a coupon is in the second category, I do a "quick cut". Basically, I separate it from other coupons, but don't really care about cutting along the lines. If it's the only coupon on the page, I don't cut it all. If it's on the top half, I quickly cut the page across the middle. These pages get filed into a plastic, portable filing case. I don't carry this case into stores with me, but sometimes keep it in the car.
Later, if I'm going through ads and see something on some crazy sale--like, if they're literally giving something away (more on that later)--I'll circle the item in the ad, then look through my file box to see if I've got a coupon in there that may even allow me to make a profit on an item.
If a coupon is in the third category, I drop it in the recycling bag.
Once I've cut out all the category 1 coupons, I sort them into new piles by type in order to sort them into my coupon caddie. My caddie has 12 slots. Here are how I catagorize them:
DEODERANT, SHAVING, & MOUTHCARE
ALL OTHER PERSONAL CARE PRODUCTS
CLEANING
CEREAL, BREAD, & GRAINS
SNACKS & MEALBARS
BEVERAGES
SAUCES, SIDES, & TOPPINGS
TOILET PAPER, TISSUES, & PAPER TOWELS
ALL OTHER PAPER PRODUCTS
FROZEN FOOD (this category trumps other categories; e.g., a frozen snack food goes in here)
MEAT & SOUP
DAIRY
That's it. Every coupon fits into one of those categories.
My file box of category 2 "quick cut" coupons is a little more segregated. I've got 15 files:
AIR CARE (things like Glade plug-ins, odor eaters, etc.)
BEVERAGE
CLEANING
DEODERANT & SHAVING
DIGESTION
DOGS & CARS
EATING OUT
EYE CARE
FOOD
HAIR CARE
LOTION & CLEANSER
MAKE UP
MEDICINE (INGESTED) (this is for all ingested treatments that do not relate to digestion)
MEDICINE (SKIN & CUT)
MISC
MOUTH CARE
PAPER (TOILET PAPER, TISSUE, & PAPER TOWELS)
PAPER (OTHER)
SOAP & BODY WASH
VITAMINS & SUPPLEMENTS
There are a few products that could make a case for dual-citizenship, like make up products that double as lotion. But there really are only a few.
Each coupon booklet takes me about 20 minutes to go through. Again, these are usually 20 minutes that I would have spent just sitting on the counch watching sports.
So if you put in an hour a week in this manner, in just a few weeks you'll have a pretty good stash of both "quick access" and "on file" coupons. Around the end of each month, I take another hour and flip through all my coupons to pull out the expired ones.
Friend, you are not a coupon geek. Welcome to the club. Now that you've got your foundation, you're ready for intermediate couponing, where I'll share some very specific tricks and tips to help you maximize your coupon's effectiveness. Until then...
-THP
-The Hungry Preacher, 2012
By the way, quoting yourself is a great way to broach a topic on a blog AND at a party (more on that in my series on social savviness).
So, coupons. I'll try to remember that figuring out coupons for some people is like figuring out computers for people like me: very intimidating, and you'll always feel like what you DON'T know is more important than what you DO know.
A couple of differences, though:
-The "rules" of coupons are fairly stagnant. It's not like new technology is always coming out, rendering your knowledge obsolete
-A little bit of knowledge of couponing can, in fact, provide you with a little bit of help. In contrast, I have found that a little bit of knowledge with computers usually just means that I will spend an extra 10 minutes poking around before I end up calling an expert.
It also might help to attack head-on the scariest thing about coupons: Being "that guy" (or girl). "That guy" is the one who is at the front of a long line to check out, holding a stack of coupons, while the cashier is trying to figure out why the machine won't scan one of them. The cashier is squinting at the fine print, then digging through your bags trying to find an item that matches the coupon. Your kids are squirming, the kids of the people behind you are squirming, kids all over the world are squirming, and their parents all know that it's your fault. You just want to empty your wallet on the counter, cry "keep it" and run to your car, leaving behind your purchases or even your kids.
First off, I've been that guy, and you're right: it's no fun.
Second, I survived. So can you. If you do your homework, and something goes wrong at the checkout, that's fine. It happens. You don't need to act entitled, rude, or demanding. But you DO have a right to know why your coupon isn't working. The fault may be with you, but even if it is, you still have the right to have the cashier explain what the problem is. Don't apologize for that, and don't feel bad about it. Your job is to save money for your family. Don't let the stinkeye from strangers or a grumpy cashier keep you from doing that.
Over that hump? Good. On to couponing proper.
Since I don't know exactly what might work for you, I'll tell you what works for me, and let your pick which of these bull's horns you want to take and run with.
We begin bright and early on Saturday morning. I hop out of bed at 6:00, put on my robe, and fetch the morning paper.
A couple of those details are embellished, but the important thing is that I do, in fact, get the paper delivered to my home on weekends. It only takes a couple of bucks worth of coupons for the paper to pay for itself. Then, hey, free paper!
Each weekend, there are anywhere from zero (usually on holiday weekends) to three booklets of coupons. I pull out the booklets and set them aside. Then I wait for either a baseball game or a football game to be on television. That is prime clipping time, since clipping is a pretty mindless task and I would be watching the games anyway.
Once a game is on, I flip through the pages and mentally categorize each coupon into one of three categories:
1. I have a high chance of using this before it expires.
2. I have a low chance of using this before it expires, but I might use it if this item goes on some ridiculous sale.
3. I have virtually no chance of using this coupon.
If a coupon is in the first category, I cut it out--right along the dotted line--and put it in a pile. This pile will get sorted into my coupon caddie that I carry with me when I shop.
 |
| a stack like this... |
 |
| turns into piles like these... |
 |
| to get filed into this |
If a coupon is in the second category, I do a "quick cut". Basically, I separate it from other coupons, but don't really care about cutting along the lines. If it's the only coupon on the page, I don't cut it all. If it's on the top half, I quickly cut the page across the middle. These pages get filed into a plastic, portable filing case. I don't carry this case into stores with me, but sometimes keep it in the car.
 |
| some "quick cut" pages to be filed |
Later, if I'm going through ads and see something on some crazy sale--like, if they're literally giving something away (more on that later)--I'll circle the item in the ad, then look through my file box to see if I've got a coupon in there that may even allow me to make a profit on an item.
If a coupon is in the third category, I drop it in the recycling bag.
Once I've cut out all the category 1 coupons, I sort them into new piles by type in order to sort them into my coupon caddie. My caddie has 12 slots. Here are how I catagorize them:
DEODERANT, SHAVING, & MOUTHCARE
ALL OTHER PERSONAL CARE PRODUCTS
CLEANING
CEREAL, BREAD, & GRAINS
SNACKS & MEALBARS
BEVERAGES
SAUCES, SIDES, & TOPPINGS
TOILET PAPER, TISSUES, & PAPER TOWELS
ALL OTHER PAPER PRODUCTS
FROZEN FOOD (this category trumps other categories; e.g., a frozen snack food goes in here)
MEAT & SOUP
DAIRY
That's it. Every coupon fits into one of those categories.
My file box of category 2 "quick cut" coupons is a little more segregated. I've got 15 files:
AIR CARE (things like Glade plug-ins, odor eaters, etc.)
BEVERAGE
CLEANING
DEODERANT & SHAVING
DIGESTION
DOGS & CARS
EATING OUT
EYE CARE
FOOD
HAIR CARE
LOTION & CLEANSER
MAKE UP
MEDICINE (INGESTED) (this is for all ingested treatments that do not relate to digestion)
MEDICINE (SKIN & CUT)
MISC
MOUTH CARE
PAPER (TOILET PAPER, TISSUE, & PAPER TOWELS)
PAPER (OTHER)
SOAP & BODY WASH
VITAMINS & SUPPLEMENTS
There are a few products that could make a case for dual-citizenship, like make up products that double as lotion. But there really are only a few.
Each coupon booklet takes me about 20 minutes to go through. Again, these are usually 20 minutes that I would have spent just sitting on the counch watching sports.
So if you put in an hour a week in this manner, in just a few weeks you'll have a pretty good stash of both "quick access" and "on file" coupons. Around the end of each month, I take another hour and flip through all my coupons to pull out the expired ones.
 |
| Caddie and Boxy: I wouldn't exactly call them "friends," but there's a mutual respect |
Friend, you are not a coupon geek. Welcome to the club. Now that you've got your foundation, you're ready for intermediate couponing, where I'll share some very specific tricks and tips to help you maximize your coupon's effectiveness. Until then...
-THP
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Getting Full on Less Dough: the Hungry Preacher's Guide to Savvy Shopping, PART 1
When not preaching for food, I sometimes acquire food for myself and my family the old fashioned way: the surrendering of legal currency to vendors of food. Over the years, I have practiced various tips and tricks to reduce the amount of money I need to spend on these regular food purchases.
I know there are other hungry preachers out there--some literal, some figurative--and while I cannot "give them a fish," perhaps I can "teach them to fish." Or, if I dare to balance the line between literal and metaphorical language (and you know I do!), I can "teach them to get the best possible price for fish from people who already know how to fish and successfully do so." So if you put on your listening ears, I'll put on my Yoda ears, and we'll have ourselves a good-old-fashioned paying forward of wisdom and experience, all in convenient blog form.
Let me quickly note that I realize that some people have the NEED to save money, and some people have the DESIRE to save money. Sometimes, those are the same people. Sometimes, they are not.
If you are someone with the need AND the desire to save money, I hope that my thoughts are helpful and my tone is compassionate. If you have the need and NOT the desire--well, I hope that some of what I write has the effect of "tough love"; it may be time to step up. In other words, I would like the very same words to seem simultaneously compassionate and confrontational, each in measures appropriate to the needs of the individual reader. Easy, right?
Today, I'll start off with some simple but foundational rules to embroid onto your reusable shopping bags. In the days that follow, I'll get into specifics regarding things like couponing and where to find the cheapest of certain products.
Shopping bootcamp starts now:
1. See Shopping as a Part-time Job. Let's say you added an extra 15 hours a month to the time that you spend planning and shopping. That probably seems like a lot. But I would guess that the average shopper for a family of 4 can turn that 15 hours of work into about $100 saved. That's actually not a bad return, if you figure it as a tax-free, hourly salary, with very flexible and multi-taskable hours. Such a perspective can help with motivation.
2. Shop Anywhere. If you practice "one stop shopping," you will pay more than you would if you strategically shop around. Of course, if it's worth it to you to take some of your food money each month and use it to buy time, convenience, or atmosphere (the things you gain by "one stop shopping")--by all means, have at it. Just make sure you realize that you ARE paying for those things, and that you are OK with making that purchase, so to speak.
3. Chuck Brand Loyalty. Sometimes brands matter, and we all have our name-brand splurges. I buy Crisco cooking spray because the capless spray-top is just to-die-for. Suggestion: Give yourself 5 products that you get to pick your brand on, and maybe another 10 that have brands that you WON'T buy. If money is tight each month, and yet there 37 items that you just HAVE to have in a certain brand... well, there's a disconnect. You've got to either adjust how much money you make or adjust your tastes. It took me a while to realize that I don't have a RIGHT, say, to buy only French's mustard or to never shop at Aldi. If I don't have money, I don't get to make those choices.
4. Establish Price Ceilings. A price ceiling is the low but reasonable dollar value you know you can regularly buy something for with sales and/or coupons. For example, my price ceiling on 12-packs of soda is $3. Without too much effort, I know I can usually get a 12-pack for this figure. Know the price ceiling. Commit to the price ceiling. If an item is on sale AND you have a coupon--BUT the final price is STILL above your price ceiling, then run away! Yell, "Go away, you filthy tempters! I am committed to the price ceiling!" Also, remember that the price ceiling is, in fact, a ceiling--if you stock up and practice patience, you can usually pay less than the price ceiling for an item (for example, 12-packs can often be had for $2.50 or even $2.00).
5. Look at Ads. The drugstores and the big supermarkets put out ads early in the week. Monday or Tuesday, I flip through them, and circle any items that are on sale for an amount at or below my price ceiling. (For circling, I've found that black ink stands out better than red or blue.) If I suspect I may have coupons for an item, I'll circle it even if it's a little above my price ceiling. Then I grab a pad of paper, flip back through the ads, and list out the items I've circled in each ad in a centralized manner. I end up with something like this, which helps me to see at a glance if it is worth making it to a particular store any given week.
These are 5 foundational rules to get you started. In the next few posts, I'll elaborate on some of these, as well offer some specifics in other areas. But if you can follow these 5, you are well on your way to being a slightly-less-hungry preacher.
-THP
I know there are other hungry preachers out there--some literal, some figurative--and while I cannot "give them a fish," perhaps I can "teach them to fish." Or, if I dare to balance the line between literal and metaphorical language (and you know I do!), I can "teach them to get the best possible price for fish from people who already know how to fish and successfully do so." So if you put on your listening ears, I'll put on my Yoda ears, and we'll have ourselves a good-old-fashioned paying forward of wisdom and experience, all in convenient blog form.
Let me quickly note that I realize that some people have the NEED to save money, and some people have the DESIRE to save money. Sometimes, those are the same people. Sometimes, they are not.
If you are someone with the need AND the desire to save money, I hope that my thoughts are helpful and my tone is compassionate. If you have the need and NOT the desire--well, I hope that some of what I write has the effect of "tough love"; it may be time to step up. In other words, I would like the very same words to seem simultaneously compassionate and confrontational, each in measures appropriate to the needs of the individual reader. Easy, right?
Today, I'll start off with some simple but foundational rules to embroid onto your reusable shopping bags. In the days that follow, I'll get into specifics regarding things like couponing and where to find the cheapest of certain products.
Shopping bootcamp starts now:
1. See Shopping as a Part-time Job. Let's say you added an extra 15 hours a month to the time that you spend planning and shopping. That probably seems like a lot. But I would guess that the average shopper for a family of 4 can turn that 15 hours of work into about $100 saved. That's actually not a bad return, if you figure it as a tax-free, hourly salary, with very flexible and multi-taskable hours. Such a perspective can help with motivation.
2. Shop Anywhere. If you practice "one stop shopping," you will pay more than you would if you strategically shop around. Of course, if it's worth it to you to take some of your food money each month and use it to buy time, convenience, or atmosphere (the things you gain by "one stop shopping")--by all means, have at it. Just make sure you realize that you ARE paying for those things, and that you are OK with making that purchase, so to speak.
3. Chuck Brand Loyalty. Sometimes brands matter, and we all have our name-brand splurges. I buy Crisco cooking spray because the capless spray-top is just to-die-for. Suggestion: Give yourself 5 products that you get to pick your brand on, and maybe another 10 that have brands that you WON'T buy. If money is tight each month, and yet there 37 items that you just HAVE to have in a certain brand... well, there's a disconnect. You've got to either adjust how much money you make or adjust your tastes. It took me a while to realize that I don't have a RIGHT, say, to buy only French's mustard or to never shop at Aldi. If I don't have money, I don't get to make those choices.
4. Establish Price Ceilings. A price ceiling is the low but reasonable dollar value you know you can regularly buy something for with sales and/or coupons. For example, my price ceiling on 12-packs of soda is $3. Without too much effort, I know I can usually get a 12-pack for this figure. Know the price ceiling. Commit to the price ceiling. If an item is on sale AND you have a coupon--BUT the final price is STILL above your price ceiling, then run away! Yell, "Go away, you filthy tempters! I am committed to the price ceiling!" Also, remember that the price ceiling is, in fact, a ceiling--if you stock up and practice patience, you can usually pay less than the price ceiling for an item (for example, 12-packs can often be had for $2.50 or even $2.00).
5. Look at Ads. The drugstores and the big supermarkets put out ads early in the week. Monday or Tuesday, I flip through them, and circle any items that are on sale for an amount at or below my price ceiling. (For circling, I've found that black ink stands out better than red or blue.) If I suspect I may have coupons for an item, I'll circle it even if it's a little above my price ceiling. Then I grab a pad of paper, flip back through the ads, and list out the items I've circled in each ad in a centralized manner. I end up with something like this, which helps me to see at a glance if it is worth making it to a particular store any given week.
 |
| Checkmarks mean I may have a coupon for that item |
These are 5 foundational rules to get you started. In the next few posts, I'll elaborate on some of these, as well offer some specifics in other areas. But if you can follow these 5, you are well on your way to being a slightly-less-hungry preacher.
-THP
Friday, February 24, 2012
THP's THPs ("Tips for Happy Parenting"), PART 2
This series kicked off yesterday. Read that post first or you will have no idea what this post is about (unless you read the self-explanatory title of this post).
All caught up? Great. Read on...
GROUP B: Matters of Food
4. Giant Chicken Nuggets. Sidestepping the issue of how bad McDonald's food is for ANYBODY, most parents find themselves treating--whether from generosity or necessity--their kids to McDonald's at least once in a while. A problem I discovered was that once the girls tasted Chicken McNuggets, said McNuggets were usually their entree of choice at the Golden Arches. Chicken nuggets, it so happens, are NOT an item on the dollar menu at McDonalds.
Now if I could sell the girls on, say, a McDouble, I could make it through McD's spending 2 dollars and some change on 2 burgers and 2 waters. But when the girls wanted chicken, it was hard to sell them on anything else. If they both wanted nuggets, this would add about $5 a trip.
This is when I discovered/invented the "Giant Chicken Nugget," AKA "a plain McChicken sandwich." If you're in the drive-thru, make sure to lean your head out the window as far as you can and order in a hushed voice, or risk being rebuked from the back seat with, "No, Daddy, I don't want a McChicken, I want a giant chicken nugget!" When the food comes, quickly reach into the bag, and with your hand out of sight, slip your fingers inside the McChicken wrapper, and pull out the Giant Chicken Nugget. As an added bonus, after the little one has finished her nugget, I reach into the bag again and announce, "Hey, sweetie, it looks like they gave us a bun, too! Do you want that?" I come across as a hero AND pay $2 less than I would have for a small chicken nuggets.
The only drawback here is that a couple of years ago, McDonald's ditched their spicy McChicken and made the plain McChicken just a little bit spicy (why please half the people when you can please no one?). My younger daughter is very sensitive to any sort of spiciness, and has abandoned the giant chicken nugget in favor of the plain McDouble which, it turns out, wasn't so bad after all. As long as it's a dollar, it's all the same to me.
5. Candy Serving Sizes. Sidestepping the issue of how bad candy is for ANYBODY, most parents at least occasionally find themselves earning their children's love and respect by blessing their offspring with the sweetest of all blessings: candy.
We postponed our daughters' introduction to candy as long as possible. I even remember going through a bank drive through and having the teller signal her willingness to include a sucker along with my cash withdrawal; through the glass window, I politely shook my head, and remember thinking, "I'm pretty sure my daughter doesn't even know what a sucker is. Can't think of why I'd be the one to enlighten her on this matter."
Once the monkeys discovered candy--which, given their daddy's sweet tooth, was inevitable--the next best thing we could do was limit their intake. Of course, you and I know that it takes 3 entire bags of "fun sized" candy to equal an actual "serving size" of the goods. My daughters, however, are blissfully convinced that their daily candy ration can be filled with, for example: a single Pez, 10 Nerds, or one half of a Tootsie Roll.
It started with Starbursts, which I remember cutting into quarters with a steak knife. Yes, a single Starburst could feed both of my children for 2 whole days.
Appropriately enough, as I was working on PART 1 of this post, my older daughter came up to me with a two-pack of Starbursts from Valentine's Day and asked if she could open up the pack and eat one of the Starbursts. Not having a steak knife handy, I said she could. She disappeared for a moment and then came back with a single, wrapped Starburst and, perhaps wondering if she had misunderstood me, sought clarification, "So I can have this? It's pretty small. It's smaller than my finger." I said, "Let me take a picture of you first." She seemed to think that I needed to look at the picture to confirm the sub-finger-size of the candy, for after I snapped it and looked to make sure it turned out OK, she came beside me and said, "See? My finger is bigger." Indeed it was. Enjoy your Starburst, sweetie.
6. Condiments. I am a man who likes his ketchup. But I do not think that my love for ketchup makes me a happier person. See, when I order fries, my love for ketchup guarantees that I will either consume scores of extra calories that are encased in the ketchup-y goodness, or that I will be sad and feel cheated if ketchup is unavailable.
So why would I offer ketchup to my daughters when they are just fine without it? Why would I give them reason NOT to take the raw hot dog I give them and gobble it up with not a drop of ketchup in sight? Surely they will grow up happier and healthier having acquired this taste.
This applies for any food typically enhanced with a sauce or topping (like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, or salad) and for any condiment (like ketchup, honey, or salt). The cat has been let out of the bag with pasta: they almost always request Parmesan, Nature's Seasoning, or both. But for other foods I serve them, I frequently have to stop myself from automatically including the condiment I would have with it. Instead, I wait for them to ask. As often as not, they don't.
I'll wrap up this series over the weekend with part 3, "Working and Learning." See you then, and thanks for reading.
-THP
All caught up? Great. Read on...
GROUP B: Matters of Food
4. Giant Chicken Nuggets. Sidestepping the issue of how bad McDonald's food is for ANYBODY, most parents find themselves treating--whether from generosity or necessity--their kids to McDonald's at least once in a while. A problem I discovered was that once the girls tasted Chicken McNuggets, said McNuggets were usually their entree of choice at the Golden Arches. Chicken nuggets, it so happens, are NOT an item on the dollar menu at McDonalds.
Now if I could sell the girls on, say, a McDouble, I could make it through McD's spending 2 dollars and some change on 2 burgers and 2 waters. But when the girls wanted chicken, it was hard to sell them on anything else. If they both wanted nuggets, this would add about $5 a trip.
This is when I discovered/invented the "Giant Chicken Nugget," AKA "a plain McChicken sandwich." If you're in the drive-thru, make sure to lean your head out the window as far as you can and order in a hushed voice, or risk being rebuked from the back seat with, "No, Daddy, I don't want a McChicken, I want a giant chicken nugget!" When the food comes, quickly reach into the bag, and with your hand out of sight, slip your fingers inside the McChicken wrapper, and pull out the Giant Chicken Nugget. As an added bonus, after the little one has finished her nugget, I reach into the bag again and announce, "Hey, sweetie, it looks like they gave us a bun, too! Do you want that?" I come across as a hero AND pay $2 less than I would have for a small chicken nuggets.
The only drawback here is that a couple of years ago, McDonald's ditched their spicy McChicken and made the plain McChicken just a little bit spicy (why please half the people when you can please no one?). My younger daughter is very sensitive to any sort of spiciness, and has abandoned the giant chicken nugget in favor of the plain McDouble which, it turns out, wasn't so bad after all. As long as it's a dollar, it's all the same to me.
5. Candy Serving Sizes. Sidestepping the issue of how bad candy is for ANYBODY, most parents at least occasionally find themselves earning their children's love and respect by blessing their offspring with the sweetest of all blessings: candy.
We postponed our daughters' introduction to candy as long as possible. I even remember going through a bank drive through and having the teller signal her willingness to include a sucker along with my cash withdrawal; through the glass window, I politely shook my head, and remember thinking, "I'm pretty sure my daughter doesn't even know what a sucker is. Can't think of why I'd be the one to enlighten her on this matter."
Once the monkeys discovered candy--which, given their daddy's sweet tooth, was inevitable--the next best thing we could do was limit their intake. Of course, you and I know that it takes 3 entire bags of "fun sized" candy to equal an actual "serving size" of the goods. My daughters, however, are blissfully convinced that their daily candy ration can be filled with, for example: a single Pez, 10 Nerds, or one half of a Tootsie Roll.
It started with Starbursts, which I remember cutting into quarters with a steak knife. Yes, a single Starburst could feed both of my children for 2 whole days.
Appropriately enough, as I was working on PART 1 of this post, my older daughter came up to me with a two-pack of Starbursts from Valentine's Day and asked if she could open up the pack and eat one of the Starbursts. Not having a steak knife handy, I said she could. She disappeared for a moment and then came back with a single, wrapped Starburst and, perhaps wondering if she had misunderstood me, sought clarification, "So I can have this? It's pretty small. It's smaller than my finger." I said, "Let me take a picture of you first." She seemed to think that I needed to look at the picture to confirm the sub-finger-size of the candy, for after I snapped it and looked to make sure it turned out OK, she came beside me and said, "See? My finger is bigger." Indeed it was. Enjoy your Starburst, sweetie.
 |
| Not pictured: Daddy scarfing down a king-sized pack of M&M's later that day |
So why would I offer ketchup to my daughters when they are just fine without it? Why would I give them reason NOT to take the raw hot dog I give them and gobble it up with not a drop of ketchup in sight? Surely they will grow up happier and healthier having acquired this taste.
This applies for any food typically enhanced with a sauce or topping (like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, or salad) and for any condiment (like ketchup, honey, or salt). The cat has been let out of the bag with pasta: they almost always request Parmesan, Nature's Seasoning, or both. But for other foods I serve them, I frequently have to stop myself from automatically including the condiment I would have with it. Instead, I wait for them to ask. As often as not, they don't.
I'll wrap up this series over the weekend with part 3, "Working and Learning." See you then, and thanks for reading.
-THP
Friday, November 18, 2011
A Tribute to My Deer Friend
The Hungry Preacher just got a little less hungry. Today, in a fit of rage, I shot a deer. Actually, now that I think about it, it may
have been a “fit of chilliness.” But the
important thing is there is one more cow in the world who will NOT have to be
butchered in order to satisfy my carnivorous desires. On behalf of that cow, I say to my deer, “Thank
you, deer, oh cow of the wild.”
Flashback to me loading my rifle an hour earlier: Forgetting that my rifle can hold more than one bullet at a time, I am only putting one bullet in said rifle.
Back to the narrative: Instead of calmly ejecting the casing for the shot just fired and moving the next bullet into the chamber, I frantically reloaded with another single bullet. By now, this deer was literally about 10 yards away, looking up at me as if to say, “I don’t know how to make this any easier for you.”
I got my gun set, aimed, and pulled the trigger. You know how in movies they always have the dumb person try to shoot someone while the safety is still on? Well, I TOTALLY thought it would be funny to pretend to be that dumb person. So while I’m laughing and laughing, trying to remember where the safety switch is, the deer is all like, “OK, I’m outta here.” She bounded away back across the creek bed.
Fortunately, I was wearing my boots that work equally well as hunting boots AND tracking boots. There was a blood trail. I followed it. I lost it at one point and wandered a few hundred yards before circling back and starting over, this time with my dad. Is it weird that I actually thought about 6 different times, “How would Daryl from ‘The Walking Dead’ be doing this?”
Finally, we found our venisonian friend. She had already entered into pre-cleaning stage without any further assistance from me.
I had offered my dad a deal: “you clean, I transport.” He was good with that, and was excited to use
a tool he had bought that is now tied with “Butt Paste” for first place on my
list of “Favorite Products with the Word ‘Butt’ in the Name.”
This deal would have been a lot sweeter for me had I shot the deer at the deer stand when it stood sideways 10 yards from me and all-but shot herself. My mishap ended up costing me another couple hundred yards of dragging a 100-pound deer through hilly and wooded terrain.
But all’s well that ends with filling out a meat order form at the butcher’s, so my day of hunting was a rousing success.
-THP
The hunt didn’t go quite as smoothly as one would hope. I was in a tree stand, minding my own
business, and 4 deer meander up from a creek bed maybe 60 yards away. They walk my direction, then veer a little,
giving me a side view from about 40 yards.
At this point, I picked the biggest one (read: the one least blocked by
trees) and fired a shot. Three deer took
off from whence they came, while the fourth galloped straight towards me in my
tree stand. She was running oddly, and I
was pretty sure that I had wounded her.
I just needed to finish it up.
Flashback to me loading my rifle an hour earlier: Forgetting that my rifle can hold more than one bullet at a time, I am only putting one bullet in said rifle.
Back to the narrative: Instead of calmly ejecting the casing for the shot just fired and moving the next bullet into the chamber, I frantically reloaded with another single bullet. By now, this deer was literally about 10 yards away, looking up at me as if to say, “I don’t know how to make this any easier for you.”
I got my gun set, aimed, and pulled the trigger. You know how in movies they always have the dumb person try to shoot someone while the safety is still on? Well, I TOTALLY thought it would be funny to pretend to be that dumb person. So while I’m laughing and laughing, trying to remember where the safety switch is, the deer is all like, “OK, I’m outta here.” She bounded away back across the creek bed.
Fortunately, I was wearing my boots that work equally well as hunting boots AND tracking boots. There was a blood trail. I followed it. I lost it at one point and wandered a few hundred yards before circling back and starting over, this time with my dad. Is it weird that I actually thought about 6 different times, “How would Daryl from ‘The Walking Dead’ be doing this?”
Finally, we found our venisonian friend. She had already entered into pre-cleaning stage without any further assistance from me.
 |
| Indisputable evidence of my hunting expertise (pixelated for our more sensitive readers) |
 |
| If you have to ask, you don't want to know |
This deal would have been a lot sweeter for me had I shot the deer at the deer stand when it stood sideways 10 yards from me and all-but shot herself. My mishap ended up costing me another couple hundred yards of dragging a 100-pound deer through hilly and wooded terrain.
But all’s well that ends with filling out a meat order form at the butcher’s, so my day of hunting was a rousing success.
-THP
Saturday, September 10, 2011
"Are You Ready for Some Bruschettaaaaaaaaa?"
Wednesday, instead of blogging, I spent most of the afternoon and evening prepping for and hosting the draft party for my fantasy football league. The prepping mostly included making up some hearty appetizers for my man-party (which also included one lady--my lovely wife, filling in as a drafter for one of the managers).
Though the day was busy and more stressful than a game called "Fantasy Football" should be, both elements of the event: the food and the draft, went well, since chefs and football fans visit WPFF with equal frequency, I will endeavor to please them both.
1. The Food.
The menu was simple:
I was at Aldi, my final stop, and saw a long loaf of 7-grain bread. "I could probably cut that into small slices, come up with some cheese spread, then place a single shrimp on each slice. I think sometimes people in-the-know do that sort of thing."
At home, I cut the bread into slices and brushed them with olive oil, salt, and pepper, then broiled the bread. For the spread, I first blended:
This resulted in a mixture that was easily spreadable. The rest of the ingredients I mixed by hand so as to give some texture to the spread:
I expected (and was actually hoping for) something that would function as a tolerably bland delivery mechanism for the shrimp. Turns out, the bruschetta was quite delightful, and was a big hit among the party-goers. Beth told me that the connoisseurs liked it so much that they repeatedly attributed it to her.
When cooking, I usually try to follow the rule: Don't do anything stupid. You'll notice there's not a "risky" ingredient in the recipe. You could pretty much mix any combination of the ingredients, broil it for a few minutes, and the result will be something yummy. Adding shrimp gives you a little more cushion for error. Can't go wrong.
Speaking of not going wrong...
2. The Draft.
Just kidding. I made a couple of questionable--and maybe even "wrong"--picks. But all-in-all I'm pretty happy with my team.
This was our second year of doing an auction draft, which I find myself enjoying more than traditional snake-drafts.
We had 11 teams drafting with a $200 budget to fill 16 roster spots: QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, TE/WR flex, K, TEAM DEF, and 7 bench spots. ("11 teams" is not a typo, by the way--long story.)
Here's my team:
QB Tony Romo, $23
RB Ahmad Bradshaw, $25
RB Felix Jones, $19
WR Hakeem Nicks, $36
WR Calvin Johnson, $47
W/T Lee Evans, $2
TE Jimmy Graham, $16
K Adam Vinateri, $1
DEF Minnesota, $1
QB Kevin Kolb, $4
RB Tim Hightower, $8
RB Ben Tate, $7
RB James Harrison, $1
RB Mike Tolbert, $5
RB Delone Carter, $4
WR Anthony Armstrong, $1
HIGHS:
-THP
Though the day was busy and more stressful than a game called "Fantasy Football" should be, both elements of the event: the food and the draft, went well, since chefs and football fans visit WPFF with equal frequency, I will endeavor to please them both.
1. The Food.
The menu was simple:
- meatballs in red sauce
- 5 (or so) layer dip
- melted cheese & meat dip
- something with shrimp
I was at Aldi, my final stop, and saw a long loaf of 7-grain bread. "I could probably cut that into small slices, come up with some cheese spread, then place a single shrimp on each slice. I think sometimes people in-the-know do that sort of thing."
At home, I cut the bread into slices and brushed them with olive oil, salt, and pepper, then broiled the bread. For the spread, I first blended:
- one package of low fat cream cheese
- ~1/2 bag of spinach
- one jar of artichoke hearts
This resulted in a mixture that was easily spreadable. The rest of the ingredients I mixed by hand so as to give some texture to the spread:
- ~1 1/2 cup of shredded mozz cheese
- ~2 tablespoons of minced garlic
- generous sprinkles of basil, oregano, and parsley
- ~1/2 jar of grated parm cheese
- ~1/4 stick of butter
I expected (and was actually hoping for) something that would function as a tolerably bland delivery mechanism for the shrimp. Turns out, the bruschetta was quite delightful, and was a big hit among the party-goers. Beth told me that the connoisseurs liked it so much that they repeatedly attributed it to her.
 |
| The plate that the bruschetta were on |
When cooking, I usually try to follow the rule: Don't do anything stupid. You'll notice there's not a "risky" ingredient in the recipe. You could pretty much mix any combination of the ingredients, broil it for a few minutes, and the result will be something yummy. Adding shrimp gives you a little more cushion for error. Can't go wrong.
Speaking of not going wrong...
2. The Draft.
Just kidding. I made a couple of questionable--and maybe even "wrong"--picks. But all-in-all I'm pretty happy with my team.
This was our second year of doing an auction draft, which I find myself enjoying more than traditional snake-drafts.
We had 11 teams drafting with a $200 budget to fill 16 roster spots: QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, TE/WR flex, K, TEAM DEF, and 7 bench spots. ("11 teams" is not a typo, by the way--long story.)
Here's my team:
QB Tony Romo, $23
RB Ahmad Bradshaw, $25
RB Felix Jones, $19
WR Hakeem Nicks, $36
WR Calvin Johnson, $47
W/T Lee Evans, $2
TE Jimmy Graham, $16
K Adam Vinateri, $1
DEF Minnesota, $1
QB Kevin Kolb, $4
RB Tim Hightower, $8
RB Ben Tate, $7
RB James Harrison, $1
RB Mike Tolbert, $5
RB Delone Carter, $4
WR Anthony Armstrong, $1
HIGHS:
- I like to stock up on cheap running backs with upside, and I'm pretty pleased with my haul this year
- Felix Jones for $19. Could be the steal of the draft, especially since we get 1/2 per reception. I'm hoping that he turns into this year's Arian Foster (who I drafted last year for $15 or so).
- Lee Evans for $2. Could be that rare "veteran with upside." Even without exploding, he's probably a good 3rd WR, especially for $2.
- Kevin Kolb for $4. Some projections have him in the top 12. If I had known he'd fall, I may have gone after a pricier RB instead of bidding $23 on Romo.
- $47 was probably too much for Calvin Johnson. Larry Fitzgerald went for $38, and he's frequently ranked higher than Johnson, especially with PPR. But I really wanted 2 elite WRs, and ended up mis-timing the buying window.
- Having both Romo/Jones AND Bradshaw/Nicks may come back to bite me, both on bye weeks and because, in theory, there's only so many points to go around for each team, and my guys may end up stealing points from each other. I'm hoping for a lot of Romo-to-Jones TD passes. Would 3-4 trick plays with Bradshaw passing to Nicks (or vice versa) be too much to ask?
- Graham may end up being worth $16, but it was more than I wanted to spend. Me and my brother bid-up each other at the end. We both seemed to be eyeing Graham as a late-round sleeper with lots of upside (maybe because our brother-in-law is a die hard Saints fan and swears that Graham is a beast ready to break out). If not for my brother, I probably could have gotten him for $7 or $8 (of course, my brother might be saying the same thing).
- Lack of true, stud RB. As I implied, I go for quantity over quality at RB, and hope that someone rises to elite or near-elite status as the season progresses. If, by week 9, I'm consistently losing to guys who get 35+ points from at least one of their RBs, then my plan is not working. :)
-THP
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)